cheris loves...

un-attaching my strings

2009-11-01T23:21:00.000-08:00

i feel worn out.just threw up on all the stress and uncertainties in life.very soon i will return this lappie,return the clothes and everything else.had a long chat with my dad.told him the truth and sort of revealed to him how scary my nature was.so much so i guess it kinda threw him off balance.i could see his eyes widening.well, i don't really care anymore.the nights i have spent on this course, the amount of hours they have lost understanding me...i really wonder why parents don't make an effort sometimes.have i not been telling them enough for me to accept ignorance?now in studio with heavy eyelids and incoherent language.i am tired.wanna sleep soon...sometimes i hope no one will bug me...

r/s

2009-10-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

yes.i have found you.but i have lost you too.its very tiring to have two guys revolving around you.both treating you so well and loving you like you are the last.its driving me to the wall.him and me became friends while G and me are still friends.but ambiguity is shrouding amongst the three of us.and i hate to admit that i am in the midst of this tangled mass.i feel that G hasn't been very honest to me.well,what can i say?i am not THAT close to me and he isn't treating me what i feel a guy should treat me...i think i shouldn't be too close with him.shouldn't be too nice or give him any chance.i am tired of this love thing.of this mind torturing shit.every movie i watch just makes me cry.reminds me of what he has done for me.EVERYTHING.nobody is perfect and so he is the most perfect man i ever had in my life.i could foresee myself losing him soon.one day in a mall, he sees me and G/or whoever together, holding hands and dang!that's it i will lose him forever.i will regret it.i am sure and i am never so sure in my life that he's perfect.he's what every girl(or at least me) wants.someone that feels so much like my family, so much a part of my life that i can't do without him anymore.i must still talk to him every night,hear greetings from him every morning,be with him every now and then.just having him by my side.no words.no speech.just a smile.that's really enough.just him in my house.just him wiping my sweat.just him taking care of me.everything.there's no love in the world.just feelings grown as days past and communication.that feeling i have with angeline and kiyo and everyone else dear to me.my first.i can't leave him.i realized.cos i am part of him and he is part of me.why am i not doing anything to stop it?

FROM YOUR DEAREST

2009-07-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

heartfelt words that i'll need no one to believe,
time and actions will prove how much you truly mean to me.

darling,

I do not know how to use poems, neither do i have very good vocabulary.
A simple word 'love' has brought us together and it just makes me want to commit all of myself to only you and never to let you go.

You have made my life complete and i am a happy man to have found you. Watching you smile, watching you living well, your happiness has become my main priority in life. Every single thing you do has never failed to melt my heart and makes me feel so blessed. Darling, i have been moved and touched by your words. In this world where we belong, I am fortunate that i'm no longer alone.

I always hug you tight and kiss you long as each time i will spell out 'i love you' in my heart. I want you to be part of me and stick to me too, I love you so much that my patience will never run out on you as i know you will not take me for granted.

If you may, i'll take your hand, to let you be the happiest woman on earth for as long as you want, for as long as i can.

These four days while you're at camp, I really missed you a lot I really do.
I L U, Je'taime.

For you

2009-07-06T07:34:00.001-07:00

BEWARE readers!this is an ultra mushy post.

Before i head to camp, i would like to tell u how much love has blossomed and what i feel during these four days as we slogged through the nights and the untold pain that created spasms of love and desolation in our hearts...

Beautifully laced words are not enough to describe how i love you
so let me do it in an abstract way.

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.
- Sheelagh Lennon -

This might seem like a facade, a falsetto whatever, but i really want to tell u that u have made my life a living fairytale. You are meticulous.I am as though a thread on the needle. The kisses you have planted on my forehead how u cradled me to sleep made me feel like a little child. Your endless love and relentless care and concern for me. It never fails to make me feel like the happiest woman on earth. Dear, you have weaved out the finest intricacies of love and it makes me feel like a nightmare coming to an end. Even as all things seems to fail on me I know you never do and you will never let go of me. I love you for what you are and what you dofor me. Sometimes i feel like carressing you never letting you go, be a part of me and just stick to me. I L U.

2009-06-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Left the job at KPMG.really sad to leave the team aft so much we've been thru and aft reaching a certain bonding level with them.BUT it also spells the new beginning of my holidays once again!have been rushing through my cosplay and been out with friends day and night.didnt go clubbing aft butter fact and my friend Nix caught H1n1 during my faculty camp sparking the start of my "quarantine" days.

SO here went my quarantine:
yum cha at chinatown with ah boy
uniform outing with YTF
nights and days at home doing my ex-caliburn
ZARA shopping with IRIS!

though the camp ended abruptly, nice memories were taken away and i love the guys.we are going for a night picnic tmr at the barrage!yay!i am so excited about life now and french lessons with my boy on fri night!thru the days and nights we have slogged thru (or rather he has slogged thru for me) i realised that our bond has grew stronger and we can even hold hands tgt while sleeping and wake up with a kiss on my forehead!i love how i am tucked safe and sound in bed and how he swept me up (tried) to sleep on bed when i fell asleep at the sofa outta fatigue.really appreciative really sweet and the amt of graciousness and gratitude are beyond description.

THAT aside, my extensions are dropping one bundle a day.I am waiting till it hits ten before i head down to that goddamn place to fix it.OH and never in my dreams would i even think of owning MAC brushes and cosmetics but my boy just bought it for me.so now i am like building MAC empire in my room.: )OH and Why is it MY room and not MY hostel?!CAUSE BLOODY EUSOFF HALL REJECTED ME!WTF MAN.u guys will regret such a valuable asset like me and ah peng in your HALL.LOL.i rly hope i can get my license soon and my dad will just get me a mini red car for my next bday.That will be my birthday wish for next yr!haa..my presents just keep getting bigger and pricier by the age.OH WELLS i gotta take picts of my makeup empire soon and show ya guys!CIAO!

MUA LATEST...

2009-06-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

I am learning how to play like jason mraz.how to apply my hello kitty eyeshadows properly with the increasing need to buy brushes and how my skin sensitivity problem can be solved immed.

really sorry people but i can't go out in the sun for a week due to my skin sensitivity.

SO WHY THE SENSITIVITY??

cuz i went to a salon one day and requested to colour and perm my hair at one go.the result?drastic and least satisfactory.i dare say i will nt take picts for the time being.so due to the harsh chemicals seeping through my pores my skin got affected and now its flaking and making way for new skin.SO at the meantime do not be surprised if u see BIG white flakes on my head.its definitely not dandruff!hahas but due to the new epidermic layer i have to stay away frm the sun for the time being or it will be really scratchy and fugly.:/i need a BIG HAT or at least a cap to cover me frm the sun.i guess my skin just keeps renewing like nobody's business esp on my face too.

next fri i will go for lessons and tonight i will be coaching penguin chem!hope i can rmb everything!hahahas...my company's ppl are fussing over a domokun pencil case now.WOW.hahaha...

dazed

2009-06-10T01:03:00.001-07:00

TOTALLY exhausted today.While i was having lunch with mei ling we just didn't talk much and my head was getting super dizzy from fatigue.i REALLY need a break.my colleagues were concerned bout my fake "demise" and i felt super guilty.still,i ain't gonna say anything bout it. My isetan job is blown due to cosplay.damn.i seriously don't know how to manage my finances but at the same time i will just sit down and talk to my dad.I am going to ask two hundred dollars from him to finance my uni shopping.LOL.niways,life is a blast at the moment and i hope there will not be ANYMORE downsides all small talks.i m RLY happy and i hate it when someone tries to bring it down.i feel so fucking exhausted within this short span of three days frm all the things happening.till now i m still short of words to say cos i m like really brain dead.my rest was wasted.totally.

on the side note again...
HAPPY BDAY IN ADV JLO and yay to the pri sch outing this fri!
CONGRATS JAMES FOR BEING ATTACHED!:D
really happy for u guys:)

you gedda taste of what i feel here.

2009-06-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

i just feel so tired explaining.re-explaining myself.

HURT. DISSAPOINTMENT. ULTRA FUCKED UP.

and now i just feel my heart breaking into tiny pieces.

i don't know what to react anymore.how to mend things back.i will just go with the flow.

The nights we've missed...

2009-06-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

I KNOW THAT IS NT 3D.

We borrowed flowers frm the florist.

Either way, i have signed up for rovers camp with the peeps and SDE camp which is like end of this mth!can't wait for uni life to start.the bumps, jitters and studying with older guys calling them friends instead of seniors.had a good talk with Ling aft so long and i really missed catching up with everyone.seems like catching up is like a never ending thing:)i am going to meet the list of ppl i have during JC days before i enter Uni!yay!life is seriously great now!!

2009-06-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

i have LOADS LOADS LOADS of photos to put up!tonight i am gonna meet ah ping to discuss our hostel stay and camps!!soooo egg-cited!i m just glad that i am able to be with these ppl though i sincerely hoped trup and ya ya could stay with us!it would be mega loads of fun!i am so looking forward to NUS.though the school seems old but the culture seems so vibrant: )

back to last wk,i was slogging for the accounting conference and i clocked in like more than 10 hours of OT!!perhaps more than 20 but it has worn me out thru and thru.despite all the fatigue,i managed to crawl to a nail salon at the AMARA and got my mani/pedi done finally!!slept halfway and my colleague made a joke outta it the next day.conference was fun and i made loads of friends from audit and ras.i have come to a realization that colleagues are friends and there is still warmth in that miniscule office space..i really love overnights and ppl going nuts with ya...

anyway just a lil small note for those who are not with me for this period of time i have submitted my uni application!!chose AKI in the end cos SMU econs rejected me haha.Also, on the side note,i have collected my cosplay costume last sat.pls do support us on cosfest this july!apart from the disgusting bra of a wig (u know what i mean when u see it) the costume looks like sabre!

sorry if my post looks as though it comes in parts but thats just me: ) these days i have been spending time with dear and i really love hanging out with him.its really diff n there's this sweet peace whenever i look at him.not that i have recovered fully but yes,i am progressing well: )shall upload more photos and take more pics of restaurants that we've been to and other random picts.happy and carefree: )

Cheris in Anon

Into the looking glass
at the endless meadows
where nothing pass

The wind cry a single song
a symphony unheard of
made known to all

Sitting at the rocks
was a yellow tart
feathers afluff

eyes apenny wide
dangers lurking wide
you stood there arms a wide

i stood there unfaze
for you made me safe
love thee with all thy heart
for the meadows looked green
with envy

into the looking glass.

me

2009-05-15T00:23:00.000-07:00

i need cigarettes and clothes badly.the monotonous life begins at 9am today.i have stopped all my tuitions and will be quitting soon from my job.i want excitement, life and more photos.the holidays are coming to an end soon and i so want to tell my manager who is sitting right beside me that i feel boredom emanicipating from every inch of my bones and i want to get out of this office asap and go down town to shop or to head down to my regular spa for a massage.spilt chilli on my dress just now and i can smell this bad odour in this portion of the office.its me,period.

NEVERTHELESS I M HEADING DOWN TO TAMPINES TO JOIN THE GANG FOR MAHJONG!WOOHOO!

sunshine

2009-05-12T00:10:00.000-07:00

sunday night i skipped dance classes after tuition to chill out.beep went my phone and i opened the inbox to see Hui Ling's message."hi dear,do check online to see if u have received the email confirmation for NUS."without further ado, i lunged forward for my lappie(exaggerates*) and opened hotmail.my heart sank when there were no signs.Dear tried to console me and I smiled to hide my disappointment.As i sent him home i suddenly stopped and opened the NUS website to see.To this day i still can't believe what i saw.I WAS ACCEPTED.YES!for two years,i have been praying, drawing, crying for all the things i hate in this world.how much i was forced into studying stuff i didn't like,how i didn't get into NAFA cos my parents didn't allow me to.ahh...how deprived and restricted life was then.So i inexorably placed this choice so i could stop muttering nonsense and putting blames on others.cos this is the path i want.no one influenced me and no one can stop me.i have decided what's left in my brain at this point of time has led me to a labyrinth where there is only one exit in the end.so no matter what happens,make it or break it.since i gt thru i will do it no matter how dire the outcome are.heck and fuck it.i guess i love challenges so much i have geared myself up for it during the 6 yrs preparation.: )Thanks everyone for your support and love anyway.

on the side note...
The phase of love
i opened my hotmail today and finally cleared my burgeoning amount of mails.opened and saw his,kenny's and jz ones.it made me realise how fragile love is .how guys are good liars.masters of deception maybe.it reminds me of how i used to hate guys when i was young(primary school?),never failing to feel the need to beat them in everything i do.in primary sch i was always top in class,and so was i in sec sch too.i got motivated whenever a guy is in a position ahead of me or when he runs faster than me.i never wanted to lose.never wanted a chauvinist or a masculine to override my feline's threshold.So relationships were nothing but mind games and accusations for me.in 2007, i lost terribly in the 'game' and wrath just adds on to this complex cycle like how dirt accumulates in the pipes of your house.i was completely numb and nothing ever felt the same anymore.in 2009, i met this boy.i was 19 and he was 18.the last thing on my mind was a relationship.to me,its all about games and schemes.plots that went unscath, silhouettes that weave thru the darkest corner on earth.why?cos in my eyes, guys are nothing but peas on the plate.not satisfying to the palate and definitely something not worth looking at.so when i really got him on the hook.i felt great wave of satisfaction having to toy with another one.after all these yrs,i laugh at sad operas and mock at death.my heart was completely broken by fornication and lies.but he changed me.though i am not completely changed, body and soul still wroughted by cold steel,he moved me.his sincerity was irrevocable so much so it humbled me.tears of joy flowed through my eyes that night as we hugged each other...i felt cherry blossoms blooming in those wilted leaves of mine.i thought, is this for real?is this another deception?i recalled the book 'redeeming love' and i felt like the prostitute.i should be flogged but god saved me.i hope this would be the gift of my life and i cherish every care and concern given.for what 's may be mine might be gone in a second.

slack day!

2009-05-08T02:43:00.000-07:00

yay mas selamat is finally caught!how i wished he was caught earlier to save us from all the gp essays and speeches in the past.niways!i did not do anything much at work today but i met up with my dear boy for lunch!i rly love him though i hope he can take a break now and then: )sometimes i rly appreciate how the skies are blue and the wind is blowing into my hair;how carefree life is and how everyone is taking a step backwards to enjoy the day chatting and chilling at work.by the way i have cleared yet another one of James Patterson's novels!i think i 've completed at least ten of his novels!i love how plots can be twisted to give an oomph of excitement and it makes u feel as though u r standing right at the crime scene seeing everything unfold in front of you!Patterson have successfully grasped the nitty gritty parts of human deception and lies..his twists are fantastic and its just so well crafted i could read his novels continuosly for a mth!alright maybe i am over-rating things but i just like to lie on my stomach and read such books over the night!these are one of my little indulgences in the past where words and numbers become a blur aft a chaotic day in school.: )oh how much i missed school!!!

ill

2009-04-29T19:35:00.001-07:00

the architecture interview was a total BIG mistake.i didn't know what i was saying and i got super embarrassed.Anyway, i am now stuck in the cold corner in my office and i have to say i feel very VERY ill.i want to go home but i do not know how to put across.Why can't i be more straightforward and cool sometimes??tomorrow will be my only hope and invitation to rest. : )

a breather

2009-04-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

phew.finally rest after a crazy day of endless work.my head is swimming real badly.not of euphoria but of drowsiness.Drowsiness from routine and a dosage of flu medicine.anyway this afternoon at twelve pm i promptly opened NUS arch website to see whether i was short listed for the interview.my hands went cold and my head swam further.damn not up yet.so i went over to hong leong for mailing invites and saw Ting Ju and Weiling!it was so nice to see them after so long..soon after i was back i went back to the website to click.my hands went super cold this time as i saw the link appearing.On instincts, i clicked 29 april and scrolled down.saw See Yee name.YAY! and the moment came went i saw my name.with what was left of my pathetic voice i screamed "oh my god!".seriously thank god for this.i m like a step closer to realising my dreams.there's 180 ppl to be accepted into this course acc to prof tan and i hope i am one of them.

anyway this was what happened on sunday.
a passage from Madame Butterfly.
a theme-Transformations
and they told us to write in our own interpretations what we think about this theme in NO MORE NO LESS THAN 50 WORDS.i was dumbfounded.so i spent thirty mins doing the essay cos i simply wrote too much.
next up,they asked us to do a drawing on any scale about what we have interpretated.on this lousy piece of A4 paper.my copic markers ink went right thru the paper.-.- period.anyway i spend forty five mins to an hour on the damn drawing which was super confusing.i did a city landscape that transitioned from past to modern societies and civilization as well as ppl in diff centuries being blindfolded.my mind was on total 'use your instincts' mode so i didnt noe wth i was doing.
with what was left of that pathetic thirty mins i had to construct a model.my hands were shaking,there was no compasses,there was no time to search for anything and i forgot to bring my markers.shit big time.so i made used of what i have and made a super morbid model.i did a human with her eyes closed and a hand over her mouth to depict that she's not divulging anything.then i made holes at what supposed to be pupils and stuff paper strips there to indicate that we can see transformations yet we don't realise or feel the process happening on us.then i made stairs and atime bridge with human feet on it to depict lost intransition.that transformation is like walking up and down to sth new or old.it might be good or bad.but it all boils down to the same subject matter.

so everything linked and i licked up the remaining drops of glue with my card paper and mount it on the red card.my mom stood outside waiting and she was like speechless when she saw my sculpture.why?cause when i looked arnd me,everyone did buildings and chairs or sofas except me.i did a face.cool.and i used french cols when i actually wanted to do pop art.damn my brain for forgetting those markers.

so i pray...weds they will give me a sign of acceptance.and i m still adamant of getting into any universities.

anyways i am heading down to tanjong pagar ltr to look at my c bag before meeting vk to get a ring and a shirt!!

My wishlist

2009-04-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

i don't know why but after looking at gazillion blogshops i suddenly came out with a wishlist!:

1. nice coloured Waves (i shan't cheat anyone anymore.this time it will be REAL hair)
2. Chanel bag (i hope my dad gets it for me when he returns)
3. SHOES (GoJane anyone??)
4. Longchamp bag pack! (still thinking...)
5. clothes.MORE clothes (i realise i only repeat my dresses only once or never??tsk tsk tsk)
6. a new mp3 player
7. personal time
8. a real getaway.(no handphones and no one except u n me)
9. a confirmation letter from ntu or nus
10. a night out at dempsey road/timbre.

super long right??haha..i manage to squeeze out all these.. and everyday i stare into the mirror i can't believe how many

sarcasm overload

2009-04-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

hmm.end of this month as i opened my bank acc i will see how things go..this job is making my life less colourful than expected :)
I went through the news awhile ago and equipped myself with all the knowledge that i am supposed to know about singapore architecture and the world.will be meeting GML for lunch ltr at lps.

Anyway, as i browsed through the electric newspaper(its mainly tabloid so i don't rly bother reading it) i came across an article about a hit and run incident.i clicked on the link and the first word i saw was "maltese". isn't this article supposed to be about human?nopes.as i scan through the article, my emotions took a ride. curious -> shocked -> gorified. the article was under a hot pick session and it was all about a dog being run down and how upset the owner felt?like WOW how interesting and eventful things can get around here. Yesterday i came across Kinque's blog and we were discussing how a small fire outbreak can cause a major hoo-ha in singapore.Imagine arsons breaking out in every miniscule town.imagine explosions for real.What will you do?will you run over to join in the crowd or publicise it on newspaper or will you run for your life and warn others?i guess everyone will not do the latter.and the news will just continue running and profitting from squeezes that barely reflect anything major in the public.that's how boring singapore can get.u go on the mrt, walk to work, type type type click click click and take the mrt again go for dinner then sleep.everyday is the same day.will u bother checking the calendar?will u go for a late night party?will the news ever publish political rifes and censored stuff other than the usual house fires and murders?well i doubt it cos its so CONTAINED over here.

back to the routine.goodbye.

2009-04-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

i got my 78v2 makeup palette yest!!yay!i will reviewing soon since i haven't gt a chance to really try it yet.BUT the colours are seriously super pretty!!!ANYWAY this morning i went to take my basic theory test and as i saw the first question i was dumbfounded.cos aft countless e-trials they did not test me on reversing blah blah so i didn't study that part.wrong prediction.failed once again.and will nt ever underestimate CDC ever again.I felt super upset and ended up walking in the rain for the second time.why does it always have to rain when i am down and alone??i just don't feel like talking throughout the whole journey and depression just seems to ooze out from me.i hate life now.i hate how disgustingly screwed my life is now.I REALLY hope architecture or some uni will confirm a slot for me now.life never felt so shitty before and i must reflect why.do not tell me that i am unlucky for i have been facing the downside of luck in recent years to come.i am just upset.

the beginning

2009-04-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

we went to PS,went to Nat'l library (sry my fault), went to the new bugis shopping mall which i don't know what's the name.and then at night we had a nice dinner at The Secret Garden.The cafe was nice,food was nice and white wine was nice (it taste like the champagne rose i drank at the Attica though :) ) I had seafood in cajun sauce.Hmm, being a prawn lover i would say that the prawns are rly LITTLE inside that plate but the svc was great and the ambience kinda stretch my appetite further.: ) I WANT THE PRIVATE CORNER the next time!I'll probably bring u girls along next time to have a romantic candlelit dinner!!Finally he popped the qns and i was like W-O-W for the umpteenth time.I seriously don't know when i will ever be really surprised or serious about stuff other than work and birthdays.oh wells...here are the picts!!

*p.s half of GEKKA went to visit z.y at bakerzin and I'm seriously happy to see u girl again:)its like nth has ever changed between us!

bliss n boredom

2009-04-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

I am doing nothing in my office again...khema's on MC and vanessa is off for coffee break...well everything is screwed here and i am bored.there's nothing to do and when it's busy i can really go crazy with the routinal lifestyle.ironical huh??

SO i look forward to my time after work,my pitiful one hr lunch break and my internet on the computer.

and YES i know you guys want to kill me for complaining about being free and yet still receive money for playing online games.

BUT i can't help it!office ladies are really boring ppl who find fun in little nothings and gossips.

I miss my mahjong, my boy and the tons of appointments i have to fufil.Fucking busy and now i have nothing to do and i can't leave.Shit.

Lovelies out there pls bear with me and be understanding for i can't attend to everyone needs at the same time..i am rly sorry ppl...

LOVE
cheris :)

2009-04-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

let me emphasize how i am feeling right now in the office

BORED.

SERIOUSLY

SMU interview!

2009-04-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

went to smu interview today.screwed it up.and totally fucking sad bout it cos i never felt so tongue tied before in my life...This guy called Jun Kai frm SMU Sch of Accountancy added me and claimed that he will tell Vincent bout me etc etc...I don't know why but it kinda hit me...i didn't want to hear anything about Vincent anymore..Anw yesterday as i walked home with Angel i was telling her about my insecurites.i guess Vincent rly made things more worst for me then i have expected..we then agreed to start Operation Security after we enter Uni or I will forever stay as a nun or worst, a spinster...HA.Pauline msged me that clubbing was cancelled due to overwhelming charges.It was kinda relief cos past incidences really deter me but REALLY SORRY PENGUIN i will bring you there SOON k??u can come my hse and get as many clothes as you like!!

*will upload pics of me on sun!!:D

and my answer would be none

yay day

2009-04-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

I've got a job at KPMG!!woohoo!!and SMU called me early in the morn!YAY!things are looking gd at the moment and QF is treating me to timbre next wk!we are going to drink till we drop!YAY!!i m going to take a bet and join music story for the dance lessons...:D

Hmmm...

2009-04-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

i have two choices in front of me right now.who should i choose???

Yet ANOTHER day

2009-03-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

went out with penguin for a shopping trip at raffles city!the first thing i did was to look for a neon col top at river island but there was no size 6!!SAD man..so ended up going hula and co to get two dresses on top of a highwaist shorts that penguin give me:( niways i am at Macs now with tr chilling out!!wish me luck at the interview tmr k!!xoxo

HAHA

2009-03-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

eee...i look like a kid
0.0

Swathi and I!!

Angeline at Fig and Olives!

Today is a day of interviews!!!i was late as usual and took a cab down to Ubi industrial estates.Turned out that the cabbie had a poor sense of direction and he got me super lost and penniless admist the towering estates.Frustrated, i got off and reluctantly paid him the money, got oogled at by foreign workers and laughed at by taxi drivers before i found the damn place.Turns out that it is just behind Kah Motors.(wtf man!)so i went to the office and realised after thirty mins that the manager need someone who can work at least a year!WTH.Nevertheless he was nice and told me that he will give me a reply a week ltr.After that continued job hunting in CBD and Orchard.Well, hopes are rather low so i am betting all my chances at KPMG this weds..PLEASE TAKE ME IN!!hahas...had a lunch with Angel in btw and she kept telling me how despotic her colleagues are...i guess they are just being over friendly but scary at the same time too..met him up for dinner and watched Departure..AS USUAL U GUYS KNOW I LAUGHED!!took some pics with him too!see see see!hahas..

tmr meeting penguin! and to you-know-who:i rly hope there is nth funny going thru your mind cos i only want to be friends with u...

3 Days

2009-03-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

Joyce and I

our candlelight picnic:)

WE love the EARTH!!!

Earth hour with QF!had a candlelight picnic and saw Joyce!:)

covered!!!

Penguin and me acting dumb!

ebi and James:)

kiyo and ebi!

our wait for kiyo to change her slippers:X

honeydew pineapple tarts!

Penguin and I!!(i love the cookbook that kiyo lent to me:))

carrying the meat and vegtables that we chopped at kiyo's house!!

GEKKA chalet at downtown east

(we are a crazy bunch who steamboats instead of BBQ)

here is a picture of the recent photoshoot at the botanic gardens:)

saturday night fever

2009-03-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

last sat,had my dance lessons as usual.couldn't really catch up as i missed lessons last week and next sat is like the showcase already!!*freaking out*oh ya and i got my ultimate birthday present!a CANON IXUS 980 IS from my parents!MUAHAHA!have been waiting for this moment for a long time!after the lessons i rushed home to change and meet QF...he treat me to steamboat as i wasn't feeling too well to eat curry.it was one hella expensive dinner!!120 bucks k!!but its super sumptous(mouth watering Japan's black pig shabu shabu!)woots!after the treat i treated him back with the river taxi ride!it was funny to see how lost we are in our previous outing and we agreed to go Timbre at the Asian Civilisations Museum in our next outing.(my treat this time!)It was nice chatting with someone you know for so long and we are both proud of our horrible eating habits(FAT AND OILY!).hahaha...it seems as though none of us has changed much ever since ___ sec2..oh well, gotta go find a new job!had a photoshoot at the botanic gardens yest!!will upload the photos on sunday!:)

QF and I!(he trying to act cute haha!)

Hui ping,me and Jerline?(i forgot her name!)

19!

2009-03-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

counting my blessings emo days are gone!!but i still dislike rainy days.i love the sun and the clear blue skies:)thank you guys for the birthday wishes and a VERY BIG THANK YOU to those who stand by me all these years and time listening to my nags and craps, my tears and joy.I LOVE YOU GUYS.there were about thirty to forty messages and i kept saying thanks and each message added a lil note of joy in my heart.its all these that counts and all the company that surrounds me..i do take all this joy and thank god for giving me this.HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!!!!

emo

2009-03-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

after all the submission and whatsoever i realised my mother threw away all my past articles that was published in the chinese newspapers.oh my god.like serious crap.then as i searched the website up and down for any trace i realised how insignificant i am in this world.a minion.i called nchs to request mdm png to write an appraisal for me but i just realised how weird things are to call up upon her.do i really deserve such true comments and remarks??damn life is just f-up at the moment.niways tmr is my bday!!hope i can see some light.:)i m going out with him to celebrate today.sometimes, i wish things just remain in ambiguity...sometimes i wish i could have stepped out to make a decision and be happy about it..

rejoice

2009-03-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but things aren't going smoothly for me.but i still rejoice in my relaxation and rest!finally start to eat more properly!YAY!and i really thank god for all my friends supporting me out there!went out with gekka the other time and ended up getting pics with an amazingly huge Meiji chocolate!(loves*)yest went to hui ling house to plan our holiday trip, play with snowy and went for a great swim!the water was amazingly cold under the scorching sun and we planned on embarking taiwan for a week's worth of farmstay!!YAY!!life's good!(quote from lucas).miss ying ying and guys still..will want to meet up with you guys soon k!!just came back from BTT( i failed due to pure luck) and walked arnd the fields and path with him.:)

my a lvls

2009-03-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

okies here's my a levels results!improved but still bad:(
GP B (yay!)
Econs A (the result of 20 essays :D)
Maths B ( okay la)
Chem B (expected??)
Physics C (WTF?!!!)

well, so as you can see my life is screwed.i can scrapped through uni but i hope the courses i am going are seriously dead and unpopular.still in a dilemma between architecture and economics.rahhh!but looking back at my JC life i realised its more than just results but also the happy and sad memories that i brought back with me..the endless mugging, countless karaoke sessions and laughter.However, the crux within this two years spent in NYJC made me see the paradox of human beings.how selfish they are and how superficial urbanised mankind are in that little perfect world of theirs, how everyone has this dark side and double edged sword in their lives.clubbing and mugging, backstabbing and praising. all the little ironies in life have made me seem impossible to survive in that society but i did anyway. i became one of them. but now as i break free, i realised how true some friends are and how dissappointing others are...embrace and thank god for making me see clearly who really treasured me and who used me...:)

to a friend HP:thanks for cheering me up that day when i felt pained..
to another friend J:thanks for making my day seem a lil brighter
to the last friend V:thanks for forcing food down my throat as i battle anorexia
to him:thanks for keeping me acc and analysing the facts with me that very night admist mozzies and buzzing silence...

:( or :)

2009-02-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

F-up callers.f-up relationship.exhausted BUT i still want to headbang and dance!!:)

pls make a decision for me...

2009-02-16T06:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the official notice, uncles and aunties from all over Singapore are hogging onto wadeva phones they can find.i am seriously tired and confused by their exacerbated laughter and comments.

i need a rest.and i need food.haven't been eating properly since friday till nw or should i say forever since i joined CPF.

though i am tired my heart never stops beating and my mind never stopped once thinking bout u

i fear rejection, i fear self denial.

clouded by misery,

frowned upon by depression.

can you ever save me out of this?

cos love, is but a forbidden fruit

2009-02-15T06:57:00.000-08:00

my heart flutters whenever i think of you....:)

V-RAWKING BREAKOUT N VDAY!

2009-02-15T06:19:00.000-08:00

Hey yo! its the singles outing yesterday!!!HAHA..i still haven't got to see Ben Butt cos all the couples planned ahead of me!!!anyway, the NTU seminar wasn't that great aft all(i slept in the theatre since it was so cosy)and it was exactly what the peeps described it when the Dean came down to our sch.Nothing Extraordinary.OOPS,hahas.The only best part was i get to see all my friends YAY!(i am an easily satisfied and HAPPY person).Saw Xiang Li there with her parents and it got Angel n Ah Ping shocked cos she looked freaking like CSM.HOHO.Aft that Ah ping and i flew to city link mall for lunch and proceed to Hip Hop lessons!YOYOYO!-.-ha.couldn't stop dancing aft that...the streets down Orchard Rd were filled(i really mean FULL) of couples.there were old ones, young ones, pretty ones, ugly ones, odd ones ??POOR ME AND PENG AND TING strolled down the streets lonely and dead beat tired with no boys and no hugs..SAD RITE?!but i m a NUN!lol(i noe u guys are ROLLING your eyes now).I did get some gifts though from ah ya and the rest!

1.A rose from a random guy in Suntec City Mall
2.A bunch of sweets from Ah Peng
3.A hand made rose from Ah Ya
4.Chocs from Ting

p.s sorry i didn't have any gifts so i shall give u chicks my lovely kisses!

MUAHHHHHS!!!

Yet another SUAY random thing

okays as you guys noe me.I M ULTRA BLUR ULTRA LOST AND ULTRA NEED TLC.

this morning, i woke up super early happily holding my bus ticket at the hougang interchange to take the direct bus to church. A bus came aft 5 mins and i excitedly board the bus aft asking one of the girls boarding it...Vroom the bus went and i sensed sth REALLY wrong aft 10mins.WHY IS EVERYONE SPEAKING MANDARIN AND ALL AUNTIES.just when the bus was on its way to the expressway, i couldn't stand it anymore and asked the auntie beside me. Where was this bus going to?the auntie spoke in mandarin "cheng shi feng shou zai wen li". i was dumbstruck, stunned,mouth wide agape wadeva words u use to describe ultra shocked. WTH is that?i only noe wen li is boon lay and none of my church is in boon lay!!then i thought of my brother and i seriously cannot believe what i hear...i even went to the wrong church!!City harvest chinese service!!OMFG!!!i quickly called celine and we laughed like shit tgt with the auntie who was eavesdropping us..OH MAN this cnt happen to me!!i haven't see my peeps for so long!!super upset at first but i think GOD arranged sth for me so i went ahead and i realized what he was trying to tell me at the end of it:)

Breakout

aft the ultra dumb incident i finally got back on track and travelled to city hall mrt for breakout concert.THANK GOD I DID NOT SIT ON A BUS TRAVELLING OUT OF SINGAPORE!i can't believe how stupid i am seriously sometimes.i am always getting myself lost out of nowhere!the breakout concert was very funny!not bad but the dance moves were a lil repetitive:)love the locking and popping guy though!the story plot was not TOO bad and the stage was carefully designed to extend space for the cast.would recommend a longer and more hyped up dance though!:)aft that angel and i went chocz and i treat her to choc strawberries and bananas.walked arnd marina sq b4 going hme:)

**this sat ah peng and i are gonna head bang on our classical guitars(?!!!) and practise dance moves at youth scape!exciting!

NO MORE HAIR!

2009-02-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

I TOOK OUT MY EXTENSIONS!i walked into a shop near Hg Mall with an air of confidence and demanded to take out my extensions for free even though i didn't do my extensions there and i lied without batting an eyelid.Luckily that person took in my lie and did for me!and i felt FREAKING bald after that!AAck!lol..from today onwards i will nt cut my hair till it grows to the full length.i am going to dye my hair red and frame my round head with waves by then:)

ANW Mr Underpants called again!!whee!this time Pauline picked the call from Mich.It was a super funny long story and she mesmerised the guy with her 1.no hair 2.leopard skinned swimwear 3.completely stunning looks. HAHAH. That sick pervert will strike soon!BEWARE pauline he might be outside our office waiting for u wanting to take u out for a swim!lol.and mei ling and i met up with Joel and shared LOADS of jokes and gossip tgt!i only knew today frm ZX that Jlo and YY has a cat!no wonder they look like one too!:X

LOVE THE FUN.AND WILL MISS THE FUN.

AM GOING TO WATCH THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON AND THE WEDDING GAME AND MORE SHOPPING NXT WK!!WAHAHA!

The Ultimate SUAY day

2009-01-30T06:38:00.000-08:00

Its not as if the sky turned dark and gloomy and i stepped on dog shit(faeces) or what but its WORST THAN THAT!!!!ROAAAARRRR!i wanna take a knife and stab these people through the phone!

Ultimate SUAYness No 1.
i was late for work and my dad drove me on his bike to work.AS u guys noe i wanna learn how to ride a bike, so i took the opportunity to experience for the first time after ten donkey yrs(or more?). I walked towards the carpark and i tried to get on the bike after putting on the helmet(i swear my hair went flat for the whole day cos of it Xsuay no 1). I stretched out my legs to get over the pillion, STRETCH STRETCH STREEEETCH!Nope.it didn't work out so i tried to climb but i nearly fell backwards!(my legs were too short!Xsuay no 2).The WORST part was the ride!the wind kept blowing into my face and i thought i was going to die (i prayed to the Lord fervently during the ride! Xsuay no 3)

CONCLUSION: NO MORE BIKE LESSONS FOR ME!!!i can imagine how bad i will look if i EVER met into an accident

ULITMATE ULTIMATE SUAYNESS NO 2(ULTIMATE ROOOOAAAAAR!)
There's this poor guy from China who became a Singaporean(Kudos to him!) who got his yearly statements when he actually opted out from it last yr july!So i called the Sup and was ON HOLD for more than 15 mins!(u noe when u guys put on hold that long to hear music, i hear that too kaex and i hear that like AT LEAST ten times a day!). When the Sup finally came back alive, she simply replied the backend is looking into the matter and tell the member we will call him back 1 wking day ltr.WTF MAN!!so i disapponted the guy and he was a lil pissed.

CONCLUSION:NEXT TIME i will just tell him its the department fault and they swore never to do it again.:X

ULTIMATE SUAYNESS NO 3(SUPER ULTIMATEEEEE!)
A man called by the name of Mr T and revealed that he actually made an online request for backdated records but no one called him back(he didn't pay of course we won't call him rite?!!)SO i adviced him on what to do.After that, he requested to change his year of backdated records.Fine.i calculated for him hopin that he would stop complaining and just hang up with the pmt advice.NO OF COURSE HE DID NOT DO THAT.after calculating i asked him to hang on while i called SUP again to ask for changes in dates.MUSIC AGAIN FOR TWENTY MINS.then she told me ok(her reply was two sentence long but it was actually revolving around "ok"?).i got back to him and to my atonishment and HORROR he asked another question "can i extract this particular section in all my records?" AAAAAHHHHH!i wanted to scream at him!so i had to call SUP again and this time the mem put down his phone while i listen to MUSIC again.20 mins.the music became like a bee buzzing into my ear.her reply was OK.AAACK!!!so i called the member back and he was like"do u noe what i want and can u stop wasting my time and your time?!!"WA LIEW MA!so i spent another 15 mins before i reached him again. He thanked me sweetly and put down the receiver.AHHH!

CONCLUSION: Just tell him to pay and keep taunting him till he get his brain right.

ULTIMATE SUAYNESS NO 3(i wanted to slap this bit*h seriously)
This woman Ms Durian wanted to suck money so she called and wanted to know how much rebate can she get if she worked from june to dec.Mei Ling took the case previously and i helped her.I shook my head then and i could see the words retribution circling arnd my head when i talked to her.I asked her for her monthly salary, she say she don't know.i was stumped.i told her to look at her payslips she insisted on me calculating out for her after talking and repeating nonsense for 20 mins.By then, i was 20 mins behind time for lunch and Pauline was hot on my neck cos she was very hungry.I told her i can't calculate so she gave me an average.What was the fucking most idiotic thing was when i calc everything she changed her no again.WTF!so we started the whole cycle and she didn't allow me to talk at all aft bombarding me with so many questions.In my head i thought she was an auntie but i was wrong.(she's in her early THIRTIES)OMG!this girl must be single lahh!seriously buay tahan her lor.so i told her "do u want to listen to me anot?"my last straw.so she listened intently while everyone was waiting for me.HORROR 2.WE STARTED THE WHOLE CYCLE OF SHE TALK I LISTEN THEY STARE AT ME AGAIN FOR 5 MINS.last last straw.so i exploded and told her to call another hotline.BITCH.
left for lunch and came back at 4pm,the phone rang and i picked up with exhaustion and dread. A familiar voice came on the line.i could feel my insides twisting and my face turning grey.I cut the voice and asked for an I/C no.AS I DID NOT ERASE MY PREVIOUS SCREEN, the woman name was still there.so i erase and typed again.To my utter dismay, Ms DURIAN's name popped into the screen.The next second dramatic scenes came alive.Meiling stared at the screen.I stared at the screen and we both gave silent screams!!!!AAAAAHHHH!this woman is never gonna give up eh?so i resumed my call and trf the call without giving her a chance to speak at all.SHIT U BITCH.

CONCLUSION:PLS LISTEN TO THE PROFESSIONALS AND STOP ASKING THEM "u sure anot??" and STOP TRYING TO GET MORE MONEY WHEN THERE IS ALREADY MONEY GIVEN TO YOU.

*to all young ladies out there: pls do not behave like a sixty yr old ah ma hard of hearing or anything and us eur brain to think and process not your butts

ULTIMATE SUAYNESS NO 4 (COWSHIT AUNTIE)
My last call of the day.Just as i thought life might turn for the better at the end. I was totally WRONG. this f-ing auntie called and questioned me about the rationales of giving rebates and how we actually calculate the diff amounts. I talked to her for half an hour before she decided to stop calculating, 100%convinced and no more repetitions of my words. Auntie seriously u should just start knitting and count the number of threads on your knitware.

CONCLUSION: I AM NOT THE GOVT PLS GO SPEAKERS CORNER IF U WANNA KNOW WHY WE WANNA GIVE U MORE MONEY AND HOW DOES RECESSION COMES ABOUT.

ULTIMATE SUAYNESS NO 5 (the kind and irritating neighbour)
To kick off the day, i got a ultra caring guy who asked for payment details, dates etc.After 10 mins. Things became ugly. He started asking for his friend and his neighbours.ONE BY ONE. After he hung up i screamed.

CONCLUSION: DO NOT ASK FOR YOUR FRIENDS OR ANYTHING COS WE CAN"T REVEAL ANYTHING ANW.NICE IS NOT GD EVERYTIME.

SUAY 6
MR UNDERPANTS DIDN'T CALL TO BRIGHTEN THE DAY!!!

i should have taken pictures of ME being f-up.got super tired and brain dead at the end of the day and went home defeated aft dinner with angel.i think there's sth wrong with that seat and i will never sit there again.RRRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHhHH!
P.S I FINISHED REDEEMING LOVE!ITS AN ULTRA NICE STORY!FIVE STARS AND HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

2009-01-25T04:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PPL!!!!

talking to edwin now on webcam!!will be going away to countdown in chinatown with VK in 13 mins!!

TOO HAPPENING!

2009-01-23T08:34:00.001-08:00

okay life is a blur.i go out after work everyday.HAPPENING YO.TOO HAPPENING!!!here's one one major event that happened to me recently.OH MY GAWD seriously.
Pauline,Chun Ling and I hit all the clubs in Clarke Quay and Robertson Quay(there's only butter factory) two weeks ago during Ladies Night.All sequences of events still remain fresh in my head...We went The Arena first, saw Amelia, Wei Ni, Mel, Ruth and a couple of random ppl from NY slacking and drinking Lychee Martinis in the early call of the night.The drinks was alright but the stage was freaking small and there's this band that resembles Black Eyed Peas on stage swaying with the music to the ever growing crowd in the club.ANYWAY that's not the point.HA.the POINT is those stupid bartenders, i SWORE they are younger than me and they claim that they can't pass the drinks to me cos i am underage!WTH man!u guys should grow n see the world!LOL.aft that we head down to Attica!it was SUPER happening compared to Arena and the drinks were nice apart from Champagne Rose!it taste a lil too sour:(anw i love their service and there was this guy who tried to hit on me cos he thought i was alone!(THE FACT WAS COS MY HEELS WERE KILLING ME AND I HAD TO SIT DOWN AND WAIT FOR MY FREN TO GET DRINKS FOR ME!HAHA)kindly rejected the guy and we got into the groove and dance with gals:)Next up was Rebel!(Mel and WeiNi rec that one!)there were more guys than gals and the stage was bigger but the speakers were seriously blaring into my eardrums!super ouch!Rebel still remains as my top choice as the music is gd and the crowd is young and funky:)Aft that we head to Asian Fusion Bar!There was not much of a crowd and the atmosphere was kinda dying but i love the furnishing!!!it screams CHINA and MODERN!Seriously nice esp the much coveted red Mao Tze Dong Statue in the front of the bar!i shall buy one for my home next time!hahas..the bartenders were friendly except for one point of time.(i want to skip this part as its nt glorified at all to mention this).Lastly to end the night we went Butter Factory!the music was horrible as it didn't somehow flow but the crowd was rather fun:)Took a cab home with Pauline aft that:)(i didn't know that it was so cheap taking a cab home! 8bucks:)
Here's my Top five Major Clubs List!
1. Rebel!
2. Attica
3.Asian Fusian Bar
4.The Arena
5.Butter Factory

Next time we'll try Zirca and Zouk and St James!:)

Ladies Night Con:i had too much Lychee Martinees(hmm..arnd 8cups?) than i eva wanted in my wish list :X

I can't find my cable!

2009-01-01T06:38:00.000-08:00

i am going to learn hip hop on sat.i'm inspired by Danzation at ngeeann!those ppl sure have a great influence over others by exploiting their aesthetic talents on others.:)will upload pics on danzation when i get my cable for my handphone!damn.and my x'mas pics with gekka will be uploaded soon too!last but not least the apartment that csm booked on new year!we had a rocking happenin' year!2009 kicked off with a great start!:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!:)

TMR

2008-12-23T07:16:00.000-08:00

Work is tiring but fun!!bought the Chanel bag from manda today!(its fake haha)will post pics WITH IT SOON!i'm so excited for tmr gifts exchange as everyone unravels their receivers!will post many many pics!hope my ec will give me one.Hur hur!:X

Sentosa and Nic reunion!

2008-12-22T07:47:00.000-08:00

For crazy pictures in sentosa pls view Eunice's blog at www.leaveyourfootsteps.blogspot.com ,it was really wild in siloso!first up we had Coach Lucas teaching us the steps to pro-ing Volleyball and next up we had Coach CSM on the rules of Netball.Anyway the beach was fun and we had mini competitions in which i lost all cos i was super unfit(sorry to whoever in my team.u guys know what to do whenever u have me in your team:)).HA.We had this mini piggyback competition in the sea in which Mr Zhangs Jie Huangs(i m trying to emulate his S speech) had to piggyback me and swim back up to the shore.But end up we were like strangling each other and fell to the sandbed laughing like crazy idiots.LOL.OH!and we saw Goh Chok Tong in the beach while playing bridge.it was kinda ironical doing illegal gambling under the nose of a Mentor Minister.It was so cool!!i love him to the bits:)

aft the trip i met up with Angel and Nic for a short dinner.had heat stroke then cos i was having this super headache.:( But Pasta de Waraku did the trick!it healed me completely and Nic kept WOW-ing at the pasta.IT WAS REALLY AWESOME!i love their pasta!Thumbs up for them and thumbs up UP for deserts and broiche served in Canele!!WHOO!Aft dinner we walked down Orchard Road which was super Hyped-up with tourists and locals snapping pictures everywhere!here's some of mine!!

Posing at the Coca Cola X'mas tree at Heeren.

can someone tell me how many bottles there is??hmm..

A donation of 5dollars for charity.Its an exchange for a cute lil X'mas clip.

This volunteer clipped his lil hats into a Mohawk hairstyle.

INTERESTING!

At Pasta De waraku!there's a waiter named Ross there who gives excellent service!: )

well, that's bout it!i m resisting the need to scratch my sunburns and there's work tomorrow!good night!:)

PHOTOSHOOT IN NAT GEO SHOP AT VIVO

2008-12-21T08:02:00.000-08:00

We walked down the streets of chinatown,took a train down clarke quay and dine at our usual Jap restaurant at Liang Court before hitting the streets along the happening clubs and bars before hitting a bus down bustling Vivocity..Here's pictures of GEKKA n peeps with our photoshoot at the newly opened National Geographic shop at Vivo.It was FABULOUS!i love these guys:)

Warning:Image SUPER heavy:X

This shot was damn funny.cos james had to wear this "anti-heat loss jacket" and u see the screen there?the heat loss area was concentrated at his crotch area.Hahas.it was minus 16 deg C and he was posing like a zoo animal for dozens of on-lookers outside the container while i snap more pictures.:D

" What are u looking at?" by James

James in Sepia

James in Monochrome
Me in Monochrome

Looking into the mirror

Feeling in the blues
US!!
(its actually a changing room):x
the photographer taught us how to take pics in lowlight:)
random no 1.
random no2.

2008-12-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

SITEX is finally over!!i'm so glad it is anw.the customers really sucks this time round.There's this dumb owner of a designer firm playing around with me like i'm his dog, and a couple of foreigners giving me a super hard time after they purchased their tablets.everytime i worked in sitex it reminds me of what my dad said.i shall not mention cos its heartbreaking, sometimes i do fantasize what the others are doing at CPF woodlands.:( Btw i shall just wait for my paycheck to come and see how much commission i earned and there's buffet for us this week for achieving highest sales record!yipee!!i guess that's the only consolation i've got from this fair and isxelle's birthday was successfully celebrated at the end of the show!we're like a big family:):) loves.

went for facial at punggol mrt station today.It was really relaxing and doris was so kind to offer me a discount and an ultrasound to provide nutrients into my dermis layer.guess i will see the full effect tmr!ltr i shopped with angel and venessa with no returns cos we kept sidetracking.oh wells.i m really sick of prom and tomorrow i shall just go get an accesory set at Diva and repair my diamond bracelet at Taka Jewellery. I do wonder now and then the irony of prom.we should feel excited but somehow my heart aches at the amount i spent.wells.i hope its just for this month :X.

*p.s thanks kiyo and penguin for everything.u guys are really true friends who helped me when i'm in need and offer me golden words of advice whenever i m down.thanks darlings:)

Jack and his PLAY

2008-11-25T06:22:00.000-08:00

0707 class chalet was rather fun though i did not go WWW!!i totally regret it!i should have just set up fire and play all day..aft today i finally realised the pain of being a human in singapore. Firstly, i thought angel and i get to go for an interview in CPF together and i could start working after SITEX. Now it seems that life ain't so easy.angel cos she dun have any job experience couldn't get the job and things turned for the worst when they accepted me.i tried rejecting but E told me if i reject i can never get such a job ever.WTF man.aft i signed the contract reluctantly then i realised he thought i was angel.i felt like slapping him.nearly broke down on the spot.I am VERY VERY tired.i need a rest, a revamp for my house, and spiritual healing for my unmended heart.Nevertheless the contract was signed and i cannot do anything about it but to get an MC during prom..why am i so dumb and indecisive?!btw my dad just offered me a sponsorship of 500 K to study 3D modelling of ships thru softwares.aft aquiring the deg i will move into indonesia to help expand or innovate the marine and offshore business there..THANKS to my stupidity that opportunity seems like a dream now.sighs.and the worst part is i have to spend hundred plus on office wear.DAMN.

Anyway i've got most of my holiday dreams done and nothing can stop me now:X

These are my holiday dreams!
1.be a poly student for a day
2.be an ITE student for a day
3.hot,tanned bod
4.long hair
5.macbook pro,new digi cam,iphone
6.meet up with ALL my friends!(hb and gals,0707,sharon,lotte,etc etc)
7.Pubbing and Clubbing
8.learn new skills
9.be more bonded with spiritual family

see jemhan.blogspot.com for pics in eski bar!

PUBLIC NOW

2008-11-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

CELINE'S BDAE!!!

Today was another great day aft A's!!its my spiritual sister?/mommy?/leader? belated birthday!we went Canele at 12.45pm to have lunch!Canele at Orchard was rather small so the mob of us had to sit in the open area.THE HEAT WAS KILLING ME IN THE OPEN!!Fortunately, the service was great!Water was refilled regularly every 5-10 mins and the screen was lowered when the sun shone upon our backs...what really dispels the heat was our family chatting and joking!Alex's chatter really brought our mood up and the food was great!Canele serves one of the best desert i ever had!(i tried almost all their cakes,meringue and ice cream!)For lunch i had doria(baked rice,cream cheese and poached egg)it was YUMMY!loves POACHED EGG!this is the first time i can finish an entire plate of baked rice and the texture was so smooth and the beef was not stingily given.SEDAP!alex's crepe and ling,xian,yts' salad was not bad too..it's called canele salad and caesar salad...nicey!the crab meat was again generously given and the citrus vinaigrette was not too sour!for desert we got most of the deserts...meringue was very sweet and the rose ice cream tastes like lychee!Jupiter is a intricate 70% choco cake that taste not too sweet but crunchy!Ling and I ordered Macha (green tea). Unlike the normal green tea cake that taste too 'heavy' this one is light on the tastebud and smooth! 5 STARS FOR CANELE!

We then went to shop around and i got a lil accesories and tried a Daniel Yam dress! it was too revealing and the ribbon at the back look a lil cheapskate and flimsy!I kinda regret getting my prom dress now cos i chanced upon a gorgeous red number this afternoon :( anyway i've got the dress and the shoes so it can't be changed anymore!arghhh.we then went to wisma for shoe shopping and found a bronze gem-ed wedges at Pazzion before heading home soon after..I M SERIOUSLY dead tired from shopping..really sick of going orchard le..CAN SOMEONE PLS BRING ME OUTTA TOWN!i need some therapy like eski bar with sec sch clique or staring into sg river..PLS BRING ME TO MARINA BARRAGE TOO!!!i m so lost.(ROARs)

**to the guy i went out yest...good luck for your trip to tw and it was really great hearing from you aft so long..1 yr will pass very quickly and life will revert to normal soon.be more optimistic and take away happy and unforgettable memories with you!you can find someone better and i believe God has it all planned for you: )loves.TIME FOR U TO RISE!

rant

2008-09-28T03:00:00.000-07:00

alot of things were kept hidden away from me...yes, i know its my fault but can't someone just let me know earlier?this time it hit me badly so much so i want to run away, this circle is sth i dun like and i just want to embrace things of the impossible...i was wondering, did anyone bother to see my blog?ideal, ideals...its just so difficult to survive in that place..i'm tired...selfish individuals are not my cup of tea..

Oops:)

2008-08-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

took the post off.it was a BIG misunderstanding.looking back, i was rather happy that he was normal.hoped he never took it to heart cos i didn't mean it.i just felt the distance.we never had...

GOTTA SEE IT

2008-07-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

TODAY
aft a mth of studying and sleepless nights i finally finished my mid year exams!!!woohoo!!BUT the sad thing is i have to save up for sing fest concert so i ended up not having any cent to spend at all! that was absolutely very sad.i was in high spirits and then BANG! the hard truth slam onto me and then i only can get myself a new vest,two tank tops, lunch,dinner and two movies with csm and angel..well,it might seem alright to u but its definitely NOT OK for me!many a time, i feel like giving up the singfest(i think its CRAZY for me to save so much to look at ppl who dunno me and there's no meaning at all to the show)but i really hope i get to listen and enjoy to good music though!:)still wishing that i saved up the money to go for musicals or a piano recital or a symphony performance?haha..the concert'd better not disappoint me or i will demand for a refund!!!its 10 hrs long so i think its rather worth the money though i seriously don't know for how long can i withstand sg's damned humid weather and my how fast my poor legs give way...well well, enough complaints and i better go search high and low for money sources..

rewind to past events!!

mugging had been rather exhausting and thank god there was lucas beside me, studying didn't felt so bad anymore..he would give me a wake up call in the morning and we would chiong all the way to bugis by 9am and buy macs for b'fast.that was the first time i study in NLB study lounge and eating in it!!his humongous appetite and optimistic attitude never fail to cheer me on and surprise me each time.:)studying in sch with z.w angel royston and him was not bad either accept for the fact that the hot weather makes me feel like sleeping.hmmm...nevertheless, the NLB experience was cool and fun!i got to know my books more and also gt to know lucas more.i feel that he's not what i thought he was aft getting closer to him....

CRAZY BOY
Jie Huang idolises vincent like CRAZY can!NO NO..not even crazy i thought he was GAY!hahas...he started telling me how great vincent is, how man he was, how fast he can row his kayak, how cool he was, yadda yadda..OH MAN...how can i stand it?!knowing vincent like the back of my hand makes me feel that he has seriously put up a great act and front in giving ppl that "manly" impression that he wants to portray(many a times i caught him doing that and he even shyly admitted to his mistakes)hahas..i decided not to tell jie huang anything but persuade him to be himself and be unique!!how far can he go imitating a person who wants to impersonate others???lucas and i then begun shooting him and telling him off!THEN he showed us the most ridiculous thing that i ever seen!A picture of vincent doing weights, his muscles and a video of him carrying a 30 kg weights with everyone praising him..LIKE WOW why am i not amazed but shocked??he can do it, i know but the video was like telling me jie huang love him like crazy!i gave that face and he chided me for being biased against vincent...i was laughing and SERIOUSLY telling him to outdo himself but he insisted on outdoing vincent...MAN..i wish i told him vincent is really someone who's so fake and all, he's jus a superficial guy!aft j.h went off, lucas and i began our talk on how crazy jie huang is and how vincent cared more bout his body along with lotsa other guys than his cca.i TOTALLY agree with ah lim bout this man...its just as good as telling me u love yourself more than anything else and u're metrosexual..anyways, jie huang was funny and i'm going down on tues to support his A div..hope he can really outdo himself and have more self-confidence!!

Tomorrow...
meeting Hui Ling and watching Hancock!!YAY!!don't mess with the zohan was uberly nice and i was laughing SUPER loudly in the theatre for the entire show!HAHs...

do i know u?

2008-06-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

sometimes...i feel like i wanna give up all the stuff i've been trying to established...i'm sick and really exhausted.5 mths seem so short yet it feels like eternity.hmm...have fallen ill today but thanks to all my frens.u guys made my day:)sweet lil' jodi bought sakae sushi for me, and the rest gave their individual words of concern..each day i count my blessings and accumulate all those lil happiness.seriously, do all these REALLY help?i dunno...i feel nth everyday..and recently,2 days ago, i realise sth weird bout my classmate...he seem to be asking me qns that seem perfectly normal but there's this fishy slant that i can't seem to put my fingers on..he likes me or he takes me for someone else?i hope i'm really wrong bout my judgement cos i really dunno wad to do if the time comes..i'm not in the right mind to think bout such things...

another thing peep...u know the iNNovation filmin thing rite?i got to know this guy who's really nice and decent..got a "tiny" crush on him...haha.we did romantic scenes and it just occured to me that really,it's been a long long time such romantic things happened to me.i wonder if there is a chance in life to find that person in my dreams doing romantic stuff..i promise i wun appear expressionless again.yea...and well that was the filming,luckily we didn't have to "relive" the scenes again, it'll be too much for me..hahas:)anyway cutie(his real name is a secret!) helped me sell off my hp and he was really very nice sending me to the dinner all the way frm t.p to bishan even though his hse is like miles and extremely far away.but i feel that deep inside he's someone i can't really uds and see thru for the first time.he is complex.i wonder whether i will be able to know him further..hmm..complexity isn't my forte and i'm really afraid where all these is going..best frens?or?

11.15pm
we were chatting on msn
he said "heys i really need to go"
me"u okay?"
he said"i've got sth on"
me"okies...u really ok?"
he said"talk to u another time"

and he just left leaving me all puzzled and worried...

TRACK-ing ME

2008-05-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

SICK!IIL!FALLEN!hahas..guess the horrendous bus ride yest left me sprawling in my bed in pain and frustration..I couldn't get to sleep cos dumb ME drank coffee at night forgetting that coffee contains caffeine!(i thought for 2 hrs b4 rmb-ing that i drank coffee)man..i m THAT stupid sometimes and blur everytime..hahas..watched what happens in vegas with zi en,trupti,ze rui,angel and shang ya after physics tutorial..ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I WATCHED A COMEDY!the show was super funny and i was hollering the theatre with my horrid and infectious laughter...both ashton kutcher and cameron diaz were cute and they have amazingly hot bods!woots!minus the hot sex part(its PG though!) i'd give a rating of 4 outta 5 stars for the movie!:) then i acc my mom to pasir ris interchange to find my lil bro's poly ez-link card and lost keys..taking a step back and looking at this scenario reminds me of my secondary school days when i lost my wallet..it was traumatising man..i lost more than a hundred bucks and all my shopping VIP cards were gone..talk about being reduced from riches to nth man...since then i would look back at my seat to see if anything drops out..saw John's blog today..hahas bet he still dunno who i am..maybe i will reveal who i am soon or never..looking at his blog just remind me of my past where i talked and blogged like him...emo,pessimistic and all..there are even poems(except his poems are more profound) that totally resembles my blog in the past where i was blogging bout my love stuff..sometimes i will still look at vincent in school and his new gfs and feel sth deep in my heart but i guess that's a habit and an innate nature in me..i just hope he dun cheat on that gal anymore..:)sometimes i dunno whether its a blessing in disguise when i broke up with him,i feel so much happier,finding more meaning and blessed frens in my life though at the same time i gave up on someone i really pamper for once in my life...

HAPPENs to ME

2008-05-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Drama PPP 2008
The post production party was so fun!okies, EXCEPT for the costume dress up part.WHY DO I ALWAYS DRESS AND FORCED TO ACT LIKE A BIMBO???i hate to be called one and definitely hate to be one.In fact, i cannot even sit like a lady or talk like a lady and my hair is always in an utter mess. tsk tsk...to all those people who thinks that i'm a bimbo, SHAME ON YOU GUYS! apart from me winning the dressin up competition due to that outrageous bimbo get-up(i even had to pose like one! :( ) all of us were dressed in cute lil' nightgowns and PJs!(i even brought my piglet slippers) the whole function room was so cosy and the best part came---FOOD!woohoo!the cookies with the lil sugarettes in shapes of stars and butterflies were uberly yummy!and i grabbed as many sashimi as i can and stuff it down my throat :) everyone was hoarding over the potato salad too due to the yummy bacon bits!Next was games and one of them was sth like a sabotage game whereby u get to sabo this person cos to do this action.Grace took the action "scream" and as expected, she was the first person who got sabo-ed!hahas!my bunch of people are so funny!but the game soon got to nowhere cos everyone was allying each other. soon feeling a lil bored, our grp went down to the pool to camwhore!a couple of residents went pass us and they stared us cos of our weird nightgowns.LOL.finally the party ended with a replay of Drama nite 2008.Mat cried and i couldn't help feeling a sense of loss that we have now stepped down and moving on to the last phase of our jc life. (at this moment, Avril Lavigne's Complicated kept playing in my head. All thanks to Angel)

A Walk to remember
Okay. So post prodn party finally ended with a happy and light note. so yesterday i caught up with Amanda on the latest happenings of her life. and she told me the most shocking piece of news...HER EC IS A MONSTER!oh man!i nearly faint upon hearing that.i was expecting sth more subtle like her EC stead with her.WOW was all i can described upon hearing that news.i realised i have been cooped up in that lil' shell of mine.I am ABSOLUTELY horrified by what SOME SINGAPOREANS ARE. i thought such monsters only existed in the dingy clubs of thailand.i gaped at manda for a few seconds before regaining my composure and continuing my subway dinner.whoa...

Study
I've been mugging for what seems like eternity and the pile of homework on my table never seems to end. Wanted to go for service today but ended up having a bad tummyache...so i met up with hui juan and jasmine at 2.30 to study..penguin was sick (poor girl) but nevertheless she wasn't going to escape her essay writing!hahas...we sat by her while she did it and i was pulling my hair out due to the damn maths mock paper (EDUCATION IN SG IS SO URGHHH!)we left early partly due to me cos i was feeling unwell (thanks to my period)..praying hard for h.j and hoping that we'll push on to get our A's!YAY!

CHERIS catches up on life simple things

2008-04-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

SPA has finally ended!yeah!!there are many stuff happening recently..have been fallin ill in and out these days and waiting for the minute hand to tick, anticipating wat's the next move, what should i do and mii wishes...oh!there's this aep guy who's been talking me and he's really sweet to give me a flower on drama night..i do not wish to elab but in the end i jus told him really "indirectly" that i'm not interested.not that he confessed but i could see that he was making his moves and i m really afraid of stepping into another relationship, to understand or TRY to resolve the complexit ies of a man..i jus can't understand why i could see things so simply and get cheated everytime...well, enuf of that i could hear myself getting more and more bimbotic..BUT i really do get very soft and influenced by frens...a word from them and i can write him off the list...tests has been going quite well and i really hope my fren will improve in her studies cos its kinda worryin..there was a farewell party for ms ong today and it was really sad, i could see some of us going to cry but well, i dunno why but i'm just numb to all those leaving..i'm really grateful that ms ong gave me many golden advice bout moving on and her chapalang words that got me somehow an A for PW..was really glad that she have moved on to greener pastures and facing newer and more exciting challenges!sometimes i wish i have that courage to restart everything again but there's only 5 mths left!i feel caught in the middle..oh wells, back to probability!!

18!

2008-03-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

its the birthday post!...had a smashing time with my buddies and i will always want to remember the day when i went trekkin with my besties or play a simple boardgame or going into a club for the first time in my life during my birthday...i m touched deep down and i will never forget all these experience and the beautiful laughs and surprises everyone has given me..last night before i fell into deep slumber, i reflected on the years before and wondered whether i had fufilled my c'est la vie wish...had i lived life to the fullest?half my secondary school life has been spent on bgr and my birthdays has always been with my boyfrens..little did i know that friendship has brought me up and has changed my thoughts by leaps and bounds..yes, my boyfriends has been on the go, changing constantly, but none of them has given me a sense of satisfaction or a feeling of eternity, sour and bitter souvenirs were all that i had of them...i received a gift yesterday from a long time friend who has recently became third in my sch for A's...she said "in life there are many ups and downs...even though there are downs in a stage of your life there are bound to be ups on the next stage so that life will be more exciting" indeed, i have experienced many downs in my life and overlooked the ups.in this 18th birthday however, i have learnt many things and will definitely treasure those who treasured me the most..Controversies in life are undeniable and inevitable..After all, life's nothing but a dream, so grab it and cherish it while you can...:)

love nootes

2008-02-19T02:47:00.000-08:00

just watch finish er zuo er wen!maybe angel is right, there is still some parts of me stirring up sad moments when i watched the show. everytime i watch him in school, i couldn't take my eyes off him although i dun really miss him or think about him as often as before..watchin the show makes me think back about the past, how i thought he was my prince charming, telling angel that he's suave and smart at everything...and looking at how he scored at everything and i suck at everything, how ppl ogle at him and how happy i was looking at him everyday..the show's on and off quarrels and squabbles was an apt description of my relationship in the past...looking back, i realised how silly we were and how little happiness contributed to the stronghold of the r/s...:)oh well, its over and there's no use crying over spoilt milk, he's changed and his heart no longer holds mine and i do not want to delve into it further nor turn back. its tiring and there's so many tests!so many exams!ROAR

U and me and Us

2007-11-17T21:10:00.000-08:00

Dark Fantasy

I entered the world of Wonderland
wandering around
a familiar sillhouette stood at the far end
edging closer i saw the most beautiful thing in my life
you sat at the throne looking too gorgeous to be true..

your brown bottomless pit staring at me lovingly
making my knees go weak

I reached out for you..
my skin against yours but alas!

illusion
illusion
illusion

the throne disappeared
everything became a blur
i tried holding on to you
begging on my knees
praying to the lord fervently

stay
prithee please

but the more i tried
the more u fade away

first by pieces
next by parts
finally heart and soul departs

your eyes now hold nothing of me
love transformed into fragments
i stared helplessly
tears of sorrows overwhelming

bitter and woes flood the room
dissolving this dark fantasy into reality

Cheris

well, this is a poem written by me..i have seen many of my friends walking into this trap..well, its inevitable and i have been there and done that too...but we all end up seeing our efforts going to waste..so what's the point?why don't we give up?yeps,i'm still wondering bout this..

anyway back to reality!!yesterday bbq was sooooooo fun and yummy!!wowowowo!the nutella cake that we bought was great and delicious!i love the part where we played card games..it was so nice and cosy gathering everyone...i jus love gatherings!then i went home with a bad tummyache..guess it was the raw satays and dog biscuits..lol..serves me right for being greedy, hahas..then my fren asked mii to take care..i told him not to think too much of our r/s cos it wun go further than frens and i dun wanna let him down...i feel that he realli treat me very well, better than...but i dun wanna lie to him..yea..sorry buddy..its impossible between us..so i confessed and i knew i hurt him..sighh..

this is realli sincerely the crappiest day of my life

2007-10-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

this was it..this was the day,let me emphasize more clearly a life changing day for everyone.When the results of the no of ppl promoted in each class was released, i felt a surge of adrenaline through mii nifty brain cells, then my heart took a plunge when i saw two retainees.darn it.the worst part was my eyelids.it kept twitching..jump,jump,jump..there was absolutely no stop to that unbearable twitch.Let me remind you once again its the right eyelid, and its proven to be an ultimately bad omen.when the results were out,i didn't even bother to look at the results (till now i still dunno my actual score,yea,its really that serious for me). Mr Leong then eyed at us to leave the class room and it was down to the last six (two peeps are gonna be retained).i prayed and i stared expressionlessly at the people walking pass below me. Before i knew it someone told me it was amanda and royston....i broke down, i cried like shit even though i knew all these were coming sooner or later..i couldn't believe my ears,my best fren and my soon-to-be gd boy-fren...mii eyes instantly clouded with tears..the rest of the ytf broke down instantly..i knew i was an ugly sight but i couldn't care anymore..i lost two frens in one day and everything just feels so incomplete, so empty and unfriendly..i dunno why but hot tears kept rolling down my cheeks, its been 2 yrs since i ever cried so badly..its as though the fren who is my confidante,my sleepover buddy,my crazy pal,my innocent and cute pal, the pal whom i trust, mii..well the list goes on and on and i cannot imagine how lonely i'll ever be without you in drama and in class...and hey..you are really the best fren i ever had...i love you gal..i can feel the lump in my throat,it's coming again dammit..why?i really hate to see this...mucus,tears and bitterness jammed and cracked up my heart which is cold for a long time now...this is too traumatising,i don't even dare to think about what's gonna happen in the future..and to royston:you are one of the nicest guy i've ever seen in the class and though we did not hit it off well in the beginning, i'm coming to like you now (not love) and thanks for being a great leader, you are one of the most systematic and hardworking ppl i ever seen in my life...hope we'll stay in contact and talk bout cheena stuff again..man.this is gettin damn emo..i dunno what will happen..how to get over this..---swallowed and drowned by the river of tears

game over

2007-10-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

alright people..i admit i m evil playing in this rs eventually but i can't help it..i jus hate guys who dun treasure me as a stead..well, i finally concluded game's over after thinking long and hard..its kinda ironical how much i wanted to stay in this game but i guess i'll be on a losing end still so i kinda end it before things got worst..if u dun wanna stay with me then stop being a loser jus tell it straight in my face..i've gotten so tough now i m not a bit apologetic for this..sorry for being a bitch (to my frens)dun be shocked or mistaken..its still me..its still good ol' sharon :) so today i finally braced myself and went out with ed..its been a long time eva since we ate and sing tgt..he's still mii best male buddy eva since i entered jc..aft havin a bf i can fill him up with lies so that mii bf wun get angry ova the fact that i'm going out with a guy.ridiculous isn't it?aft mths of passive stoicism, i finally broke free from the chains of love..i guess i wun be goin back into a r/s any time soon..a lil traumatised..but i did apologised to ed for mii lies and he forgave mii..nice fren isn't he?so we sat on the creaky wooden floors at vivo and looked at the azure sky slowly turinin gray, pouring our hearts out about our failed relationships..i stared into the once-beautiful view in front of me (sentosa..its undergoing construction now) and listenin to the occasional honks of the ferries, it struck mii suddenly how silly i am..how dumb i was to overlook so much things just because of a guy..how i lost mii freedom and frens cos of a person who doesn't treasure mii at all..

beep..

the msg signal rang as i opened it..it was him..hah..he wrote..hello,hope you enjoyed the past few days,do take care when u go to the hosp tmr..end of msg..so false so insincere..inside mii,i screamed..if u dun care dun bother to!u r not the only one in the world that send mii that msg and that was the most bland..the most boring msg i eva received..it took mii awhile to calm down as i recalled all the misgivings and pain..

exaggerating isn't it?well...i shall put all these behind me..so i deleted it off..beep the phone went again and the msg was gone..for eva...the memories began to slowly un-etched from mii mind..mii heart no longer thud loudly and painfully..as lucas said.."life is good" :)

SEE!

2007-09-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yo ppl!sorry for the long wait!guess u guys have been waiting to see mii new post huh?hahas..i'm at my fren's house now(my fren's a she) mugging..i m now in a very big dilemma..how am i going to break it to him tat i have already mentioned a break up??!how??oh man...i cannot stand the insensitivity and mood swings any longer..its like i'm having a whale of time playing with my frens and then SmACK!a slap of cold harsh reality jus came down on me..no messages and u r angry no talking to mii frens and you are happy..all the NOs and here i m mugging so hard jus so that u can mock at my poor results and stupidity?yea...i think i m really at my limits..nono..i m well of my limits..all those over committance is really NOT me..sharon was never lidat and she will never be anymore..dammit..sorry for the poor english but my brain have so much things to share that my hands cannot coordinate with it anymore..HELP!10 days to promos..

SAD DISSAPPOINTED BLAH

2007-03-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

heys actually i dunno whether i should feel lousy..or maybe i m lousy..but i m jus disappointed that i have been let down by him..its like i love him so much i sacrifice mii time and put him in first place despite i noe how impt frens are to mii..but he still dun love mii that much or dun talk that much anymore..its as though he is sick of me..but i m sad..really nearly cried..rhyme*so i jus decided frens and studies are SO MUCH more impt than all these ..or maybe i do too much le..i jus cannot show him mii sad side..inside its bleeding ok?even though i look happy on the outside..think mii heart too kind le..must learn how to be hard hearted..anyway..i got into choir and i love mii og!that's wad matters most to mii..i m finally HAPPY to be in NYJC..hahs..oh ya and i also feel so upset having to let angel go hme alone..thats how frens matters to me..its THAT MUCH..i finally know..

insecure

2007-02-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

loves mii dear dear alot..but there are always buts'..there is sth bugging me deep down in my heart and i dunno wad izit..hope i will find the ans one day..vk told me that he have the looks and he's the best outta all my ex-..sometimes i feel kinda inferior cos i dun have the looks ya noe..nidda boost of confidence..wells..still love him a lot maybe i am afraid to lose him..thee sick of that very motion thus make mii an ass nay...today chem test did twice hope i can do well..everyone explained the eudiometry to moi but i still dun geddit..realli dun ged sci stuff..so not me..but alas!life is lidat..claimin that it is full of colours but its actually monotonous..today quite bored only mii all the way again cos yiling they all not comin le..hope angel and lotte they all will come soon..miss them SOOOOO much!!hahas..the end of the cold and lonely days...madly in love..

2007-02-23T23:41:00.000-08:00

ed just called mii..ask mii wan go orchard wif xue wei and benji..but i dun wan cos i m like the only gal..xue wei wants to help mii change opinions bout ben.thanks alots but its jus tat i cnt accept the fact that there are so many eccentric ppl..i need time to adapt to this weird surroundins without mii happenin frens..then a fren told mii bout alot of flaws her in r/s..it struck mii that i once faced this all..the same qns the same ans..jus feel sad for her..wanted to tell her bf how much he changed..so much that i m so shocked..realli..still feel insecure but i think time will make mii see everything more clearly..

2007-02-22T07:03:00.001-08:00

time to change my nic cos i no longer single..yest he confessed..my heart was thumping very loud..still thinking i was in a dream or he's bluffing me or sumfink..very happy..cos i like him alot bax then i shocked...hope this dream will never end...:)

2007-02-22T07:03:00.000-08:00

CNY

2007-02-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

okies so CNY is over..now at the school's library slacking once again.yest m'sia trip was alright and i felt very happy cos i gotta noe my cuzzies further..felt that ning ning was pretty..the only interestin part was the socialising thing and erm..maybe the shopping trip in giant..yea..i bought puma latest shirt!yea!then i played bball wif my dad in the arcade..it turns out that both of our shooting skills are beyond hope..hahs..my bros kept spreading their lame jokes notion and my uncles all flipped..but the worst part is bout them criticisin that i m short when i AM..luckily all my aunts ganged against my bro and called him "old lady"..hahs..(this is wad happens when the yin overpowers the yang)anyway the CNY craze is ova and i generally enjoyed it..one of a kind..

CNY celeb and shocks!

2007-02-16T04:28:00.000-08:00

today's new year celebrations was a total disaster..RUINED!the celebrations at NYJC was the world's most boring celebration of the year..i should have heed the rest advice and went back to nchs..oh man i think the best part was the violin recital..that boy's fingers were SUPER nimble!and he reached the right pitch!so diff for me in fact..anyway i went with wendy they all to orchard and we shopped awhile before i gave up and went hme with angel..realli no mood to shop..jus very tired..i spent two hours sleepin only cos there's this mosquito pestering me and leaving scars all over my face!how i wish i could find it and eat it down..appease mii anger!!arghh..anyway on my way home i got pestered again by a group of gangsters..really shocked siax the guy suddenly sheltered me with an umbrella and asked my no..i was like shocked la!anyway i was too tired to care so i ignored them..(so much for all the exhaustion)...i even got pestered again by a grp of indian males..so pissed and sad..enuf pesterin for a day..i straightened my thoughts and turned into a mugger..no more BGRs!

2007-01-10T06:25:00.000-08:00

today cca bazaar very fun!i joined student council and tennis and soccer!the soccer gals abit dun care bout us..dunno whether they really want ppl mahx..lol then the tennis is like super fun though mii wrist nearly broke..hahs..realli got tired smacking balls..CLEP is so fun too!guess the onli subject i like and have motivation is chinese bax..since young i m realli glad to have such great teachers..love them all!guess that's the only love i had since young..really wanna go beijing and taiwan!i very guilty to make amron plan the outing jus for mii convenience sake.its really obvious and i feel berri upset..dunno wat tuhh tell him.love is so complicated..love someone and someone love another person..feelins realli cnt be forced..that's wat i noe..

2007-01-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

haiss come NYJC dunno how many days le..yest went to find him...dunno whether my feelings are true or just lying to miiself...told angel that i dun like him..haiss dun wanna think.maybe i jus tuhh sensitive..ended up in a different class as everyone..feel quite sad sia have to know everyone all over again..so i guess this place does not have any special memories to tie me down or anything bax..thurs going SRJC..

2007-01-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

woke up this mornin tuhh take the bursary...kinda boring plus i missed dragon boating!arrgh..well,ah wang modern version was nice..though the gal married a retard it was kinda frog and princess ending..talkin tuhh cy and jacq..miss them all..luckily i did not choose anderson..chengyoke say it is stressful in there..hahas..i was so right man..anyway gtg..

new year 07'

2007-01-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

the hols are over..the class chalet was a lil wrecked by some people but overall it went really well..nyjc orientation camp was super fun though the peeps are not really enthusiastic at first..it was the first time i immerse myself into a PURE environment..everyone was so polite and well-learnt..it made me seemed as though i am uncouth for the first time.lol..anyway the nchs gang in nyjc was really huge and it was great to see each other after a tiring day..i will always remember disco night..that clubbing sensation was great minusing the smoke and everything else sleazy..lol..but the journey to sch was an enormous drain of energy..i guess i am really too tai tai le..kinda weak..well the camp rawks and the peeps rawks..love those guys..finally there's this place where no vulgarities are spoken or even heard of..safehaven..hahs..

我的感受

2006-12-09T20:11:00.001-08:00

现在的我与以前很不一样了。不再爱别人也没有那么多向往的自信心了。我也对“家”这个字越来越陌生，我的家很完整吗？是用钱来收买人心的地方吧。。。所以使我体会到钱不是万能的、使我体会到了友情的可贵。爱情也就身外之物，没有了他我一样还能活下去，生活也不会少了一丝光茫或几分灿烂、我也依然会是那个老样子。家庭的温馨我不曾拥有过。这也许是一种小小的幸福吧，没人吵架、没人打架。。。家里只挂这一股冷淡又寂寞的气氛，是个极度的悲伤。唯一的热闹只来自电视机不停地喧嚷。好累、真的希望有一天大家都不用钱来给予欢乐。。幸福是不能用别的东西来有所替代的。讲钱真的会伤到感情所以我厌恶那些用钱就能为所欲为的人。因为那些钱在我的眼里都是肮脏的。我也对爱不抱有任何希望只享受朋友给予的快乐。。。

我的感受

2006-12-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

2006-09-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

yea!today saturday which means that the prelims are coming and it means that everything is coming to an end!!this morning made a call down to the comm centre to learn hatha yoga..the teacher(JANE) was very friendly though her pronounciation was a lil "off"..anyway the lesson was enjoyable and mii spine certainly felt better..(claps*)hahas..guess i reaped the benefits..the whole lesson was to keep relaxing and breathing in a correct manner..quite cool though..now at venessa's house 'studying'..lols..gtg!

FaiiLures

2006-09-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

studying ferr prelims with vk doris eugene and amron this week..dunno whether i got study anything in my brain..haiss..this week broke up with hi..think i dunch wann to let down anyone or anything in a relaionship...it's like..i have experienced all these before and i realli dun wanna do it on others..dunch wann any disappointment.so i guess i will not go into a real wan..dun even have those bgr feeling at all..jus wann everyone's to be my best frens...anyway..cannot wait ferr the prelims to end..then this sat i goin yoga lessons//who wann go can call mii asap!!should be very relaxin bax..lol..good luck to everyone!!

recently..

2006-08-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Recently..yea..many things happen..many UNHAPPY things happen..though mii results did improve by half this time i was still not happy..i jus cannot understand why some ppl fancies making others life so difficult..just a apology seems so hard..to me..friendship means the world to me and i m so glad that i have all of you to support me so i hope this person would really wake up to his senses and say the magical word("sorry" i mean).it just seems so weird if i wake up one day to find out that my friend is gone forever.wouldn't you regret?next topic..(the previous one was driving me bummers)kelx had worked very very hard for jacq's birthday..wadd he did was really sweet and super duper touching..hope jacq's happy bout the whole thing..hahas..yest i nearly had gang fight with someone..got this four boys want mii fone no then i bluff them say mii pri sch fren's mii stead..they got quite uptight and made racist remarks on mii fren(he's a malay) then we all got very very very angry and called ppl down to confront but end up these boiix runaway lerx so i guess they were quite lucky..nevertheless i would like to have them beaten up..this is singapore lorx i can even sue them ferr such remarks..then i told them fake names and streams..(trying hard not to laugh at that point of time)these guys are real jerks..yuppsthat's all ferr this post..OH YA..still got one more thing..mii pic and comment appeared in lianhezaobao then it was quite embarrassing cos the foto was taken during the interview and it was downrite UGLY!sobbx..manii stuff happened this week..quite scary..gtg meet angel to buy STUFF(secrets!!)bb..!
**gd luck tuhh everyone ferr their prelims!

MC

2006-08-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

yea!now at hme resting and doing the photos editing..jus went tuhh see the doc and had almost 5 med tuhh mii name..wearin mii new bedroom slippers now also..pigletS!tuhh bad cnt put on de blog..SOON!now do everythin also very tired..hahs..doc says i m tuhh stress but i think i m tuhh tired from all those late nights out..nw mii secret is out and i m realli SORRY(i mean it) to those ppl whom i had lied earlier on..sorry peeps...

2006-08-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

this pic is jasmine draw derrx!chio horx!

the finale

2006-08-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

yea..its comin all tuhh an end..the o's are comin though i seemed tuhh be slackin still..didn't study common tests didn't do oral didn't do lotsa stuff and i jus remembered tmr is mii chinese o's results relaease date!hope i can gedda a1..budd if realli gedd a2 then i settle ferr the worst lerrs...aft common test i had the chillin out period whereby i went tuhh boardgames cafe improved mii pool techniques and karaoke-in all day..the best was the day the 10 of us had this mad frenzy tuhh find each other in city hall which was buzzin with lotsa ppl..it was realli wild and the gerls(that's me) were practically challenging time and runnin jus tuhh find de boiis(kck,julian,jx and zp)*bummers*we really screamed intuhh the fone and run..kinda mad..well..the end result was...we saw the fireworks!(joy) hahs..it was so BEAUTIFUL!the finale was the best..there was a series of big fireworks and it extended so slowly..so much so that it rained down on us...yea..awesomely pretti!hope the o's will be lidat..a happi and beautiful end..life is so much happier aft these 4 days though i m sick rite nw(bummers again)..yipps!

2006-06-30T05:08:00.000-07:00

jus received a call whether tuhh plae pool or nort..but now realli havin financial crisis must wait ferr at least 3 days which is real pain..hahs..anyway these few daes realli eat tuhh much then veri veri full and i m so warm that beads of sweat is drippin off mii..sch is realli boring but i like wendy they all!think they hit off reall well..lols..then sumone has been sendin weird mms tuhh eileen..no matter wadd i mus see doc..reall serious case..i wann stop mii disease..yepps..

wo bu xiang xing you ai zhe me yi jian shi
hao tong ku
xiang wang diao ni..wo HEN si ni le..
hen yi ge ren yuan lai shi na me lei de..
dui bie ren mei xing xin
ye shi ni de cuo..
shang hai tai shen le..
2 mths le..hai shi zhe yang..
wu fa ru mian..
zhi neng kao xiong di lai pei wo shui jiao
bing le mei ren zhao gu wo
acceptance--failure...

2006-06-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

we jus went tuhh the hospital today then acc jj tuhh do a small operation at TTSH..the wait was really of eternity..aft dunno how many donkey hours before we actually waited finish then we purposely bought food that contained two fishballs two sausages to spite an angry man..hahas..guess he was realli crazy when he lost his money.SWEDEN vs ENGLAND DRAW!woots!then aft the hosp can see jj realli in pain but still can laugh..realli veri yong gan..then mii and TS went back tuhh jj house tuhh study b4 i go tuition..ate some maggi and played abit mahjong then went hme together with ju..they veri pro anyhow open a can of abalone tuhh eat wif the maggi..lolls..fun..

2006-06-16T05:07:00.000-07:00

yesterday finally went tuhh the campfire!it was quite okay apart frm us screamin the loudest and participatin and performin ferr half the show..hahas..last time that i will eva get tuhh go tuhh a campfire again..sobx//i was being blasted by the plastic balloons frm CYC and shaune..then we decided tuhh stay overnight and borrowed 3 towels frm meiling..hahs..had the best overnight stay in sch..we crapped thru the night, lie down thru diff parts of the sch talkin crap..i even stood on the podium and imitated ONG "sch sing louder!"hahas..stagnant voice..then mii jj julian jia sing jasmine and yip chun and shaune stayed close together thru out the nite lying down talkin crap eatin MACS playin cards..tok tok play play until it became 6am..then we sung songs..i realli sux at russian poker budd luckily last min tie wif julian..hahas..nort so bad..then i won the bet!!woots!shaune wearin long pants ferr concert then julian nearly bluffed mii of 5bucks..jia sing could'nt slp then we all pei her walk arnd the sch and pretend tuhh scare of taxi drivers by actin as ghosts..HAHA..then yip chun veri horni keep..ya..u all noe i no need tuhh say..hahas..then we plan wadd tuhh do on MYC bdae whether tuhh go mahx..today quite alrite keep walkin here and there collectin and deliverin stuff..hah..the omen nort veri nice cos alan quite quiet..haiss..lols!nice stay at sch!!

2006-06-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

yesterday studied then found out mii reflexes deterioratin..haiss..dunno wadd tuhh do then talk tuhh alan and break record!6Hours!woots.!talk lotsa crap then talk bout wadd will happen on 24th..scared he will be disappointed..anyone wanna play pool or watch movies call moii!

ms bianco-fulldicolori

2006-06-11T05:10:00.000-07:00

yea!yesterday finally went out wif peh jas hui juan!fun lot!we went shoppin and i finally bought mii costume ferr the concert!bought a blue top frm 4eva21 and a white skirt at surfbabe!sry guys if i made euu all feel bored!hahas..then sumthing surprisin happened!Peh noes alan!as in another alan which is in the same level as mii fren alan..hahas.SG is so smalL!hahas..then we went tuhh take neoprints and eat and stuff and walked till our legs cannot last!hahas!!went hme and mii legs achin like mad then we planned tuhh meet up another day tuhh make a pencil case!woots!new stuffb4 sch reopen!we are so happenin!hahas..lame..then mii fren ask mii bathe mii feet wif warm water..hahas..so sweet!: )_todae neiis..i first time attended a malay weddin!the food i cannot take it cos i m not used tuhh it..kinda weird in mii mouth..the wedding is so cool and the settin was kinda fantasizin!..so heavenly and feels like in another land!though its in a void deck..hahas..cool!cool!hahas..then it got so wet that i had tuhh buy new shoes!hahas..great shoes tuhh match mii outfit!i asked ferr bout 5 shoes then finally got one (quite ok)pair that has mii size!kinda mad when i got tuhh that part cos i didn't noe sg got so manii ppl has legs that are as small as mine!hahas..lookin ferrward tuhh many things!nw go do lit le!chu!hahas

Sollevarme via da qui.

2006-06-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

lift mii off..yea thats wadd this italian title is sayin..today i went ferr tuition and found that mii relative velocity improved!yea!realli felt happier today..now mii and jasmine and eileen talkin bout plans ferr tmr and i m dreamin of wadd will happen at campfire!blast everyone heads off that day!then we talked bout drowin MYC at pulau ubin on his bdae!lolls..evils..then i talked tuhh mii long lost msn pal alan..still dreamin wadd he looked like..loll!found another great long lost fren todae!woots!tmr mus go find a really cute dress tuhh wear on the 18th..hao qi dai wors!!yok yok!hahas..still missin that person in mii heart..not sure whether tuhh take the money back..pride or no pride??i dunno..does it matters nw?

2006-06-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

todae mii julian and xue ling went tuhh tampines mall ferr that flyers thingie..then we waited..found three macdonalds..walked around and scanned thru the whole of sg heartland ferr a white mini van wif license no 6290..wth man..we wait wait wait..wait until the rain stops until an hour is up and we have been standin there like statues being corroded by acid rain..man..so long..i wanna sleep..i was like hoppin mad!(literally and figuratively hoppin arnd)i was busted terribly.hahas.then i spammed and punched the buttons of XL's cellphone
angrily..EUU noe wadd that +*&@$ did?!he hung mii up!wadd a nice thing tuhh do huh?i nearly threw that hp outta mii hand tuhh the nearest table(budd of course that fone wasn't mine if not i would have love tuhh do it..hahas)well..i m punk'd!wadd can i do?!i m so disgusted by that guyhu wasted money in prankin ppl!gonna spam him tonight!mii julian nnd hao lun gonna spam till he regrets wadd he has done..hahas..poor guy!tuhh bad he played wif us..loll..aft that i went tuhh TM miself and checked out the sports stuff while XL went hme and JU went bball..NICE day..lol..then i went hme..think go sell ice creamm beta bax..
loll

flee!

2006-06-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

today finally's the last day of mii not washin hair schedule.hahas.now jus wake up..quite hungry.yesterday went tuhh sph ferr the meetin with squeena then saw xie chao..kinda shocked though, lolls.then we planning tuhh sneak awae in the midst when they change speakers.WE DID!in the end mii and squeena went orchard shopping then xie chao went hougang tuhh play pool..hahas..bunch of bad kids, well, i guess its the NCHS tradition tuhh pon bax..hahas.todae maybe sellin de ice cream but i haven told mum.didn't get tuhh see her much plus she havin OT todae..sian-ed!go cook pasta on mii own bax..bored..munchin on white choc donuts rite now..hahas..

bu gan dui ni shuo wo ai ni

2006-06-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

haiss..should i or should i not..afraid tuhh go tuhh sch..mei dang kan dao ni jiu hui xin tong..budd aniwae i wann tuhh ferrgedd..wahhs like repeat a million times..todae rebond mii hair..kinda regret cos the fringe tuhh kawaii..lolls..AAAAAAAAA!still thinkin of euu..shwit feelins..this blog cnt let ppl see..CONCEALED!hahas..tmr goin sph ferr meetin and i m still have black skin frm last canoein!miss the sea..today actualli wanted tuhh go roller blade wif QF they all then QF teachin mii budd its rainin and mii hair!arghh..wasted i wanted tuuh learn hw tuhh roller blade de..then i acc joyce tuhh cut hair but tuhh long queue..fruitless waitin..verii pan wang this sat!!goin out wif eileen they all shoppin!loads of cash!wahahahas..tweex!mus go take new pics of mii nnd mii straight hair!zi lian..

helpp!

2006-06-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

yea!released mii new blog todae and eileen n joyce are one of the first tuhh see it!honored ma??this blog is nort open tuhh alot of ppl cos its personal..love talkin tuhh siew wen..so cute!hahas..tmr finalli rebondin!so excited..so takin more pics of mii hair now b4 its gone ferreva..then i found out that mii face texture is deterioratin so i betaput more masks and less make up!lolls..kinda addictive..tryin hard tuhh ferrgedd and drift further awae frm him..FERRGEDD!wu fa zi ba de jing jie...hahas..realli cock eye or sumfink..anyone go out call mii!kinda bored doin physics here..loll..todae's a nice day!successfull egg omelette!

dilemma

2006-06-04T03:33:00.000-07:00

yea..the name tells everything..i really like euu alot..budd..i dunno how tuhh go about askin it and i dunn wann such bad or lousy consequences in the end..maybe its just 2 weeks..or maybe euu tuhh shy.well,i dunno.but one thing ferr sure i just like euu onli and every nite when its goin tough i will jus rmb of eur presence.how i wish euu were beside mii talkin tuhh mi.well i m thinkin tuhh much again.SINGLE"S THE BEST!!ya?true ma?..haiss..

fREE

2006-05-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

this is mii sharon back fresh new start..fresh new blog..awae frm those boiis or lurves or relationships..jus mii..no strings attached and single.mii heart was once being stolen and hidden awae but now it was finally back..i snatched it back nnd it will never ever belong to anyone anymore.onlii miiself.i found mii identity and found back my hopes and wishes that was once swallowed and kept hidden//life was eva so perfect//eva so happy//
++* i wished upon that cloud that would take mii tuhh heavens nnd nw i m dere